The "love" saga continues

This is the part 2 of the post A love story . So people who wanted to comment and could not....You can do that now... *hint hint, Mr Preetam*







Its been 6 months now that we have separated. Why the hell cant I say divorced? Yes, HE and I have been divorced for 6 months now. The only way to get over all this pain was to work and work I did. Thats all I did for 6 months. I quit everything. My life , my friends , everything. My friends did call me the first 2 months, but then when I stopped calling them or making lame excuses to avoid them , they stopped. I didnt blame them!



Then one day, it was the children parents day. And I decided to go. They were after all MY kids.I saw him and I saw her. And then I saw them. My children were ecstatic to see me and meet me.He wasnt. He was infact furious. He came to me and asked me never to come there again. I didnt expect him to behave like this in front of MY KIDS.



But then, I guess it happened for the good. It was like I was woken up from a deep slumber. I saw that he had moved on. I neednt to get my life together first. Get all the pieces back again. Make my life MY life. As I drove home that night,I decided to make some serious changes to my life. I decided to meet up all my lost friends. Reconnect to all of them. Enjoy life and live in the moment.



I slept soundly that night like I hadnt in 6 months. I slept comfortably with myself. I got up early the next morning. Fresh and full of hope. I sat there at the kitchen table and made myself a cute little list. I love lists :) Yeah I drew a smiley on that too. Life was full of sunshine...



I got my phone number. I dialed the number of a friend..TRING TRING ... That went on.....On and on!! Well it was the weekend..Maybe they were asleep! So, I tried another friend.. and another..But the phone would just ring!

Well if you knew me, you would know I think and analyse a LOT! And so I set thinking. Just generally but then I decided to stop and get going. I realised I was out of orange juice and many other things at home. I thought I should go to the mall . Dressed I did and went. I shopped and felt really nice. Retail therapy , you see!!! As I was walking to the parking lot, I suddenly saw HER and for a change not with him but with MY friends.

I was surprised but then I didnt want them to see me... As I spent the entire day thinking, I realised that they werent truly my friends. They were either his colleagues or the wives of his friends. I had let my life revolve around a single person. I had let his choices become my choices. The more I thought , the more I realised how much I had given up. I had lost myself. When I divorced my husband, I hadnt only lost my family, I lost myself, my so-called friends , I had lost my life.

I know what you are thinking. If they ditched you in your darkest time, they werent your friends. I knew that. But the problem wasnt just that. The thing was I felt lonely. A thing I had never felt before. It was like I didnt know who I was! I was angry at fate for letting this happen, I was angry at her for just existing and most of all I was angry at myself for loving HIM , for letting him become just an important part of my life!! I was just angry!!

My sensible side said to me that there were probably people there who still cared for me. I didnt know who to hate and who not to. I didnt want to "not like" the wrong people. I didnt want to like the right people. I just didnt know what to do..Who to trust ? Who to confide in? Who to believe in?

11 comments:

  shafeeq sha

16 April 2008 at 01:53

Don't make your life that Random.....Only your thoughts must be random and then plan them in a desired pattern....

  huzefa

16 April 2008 at 18:44

yes shafeeq is write

  gedet basumatary

16 April 2008 at 22:26

Hi Rashi, is it you in the pics. Anyway the story is good. she choose the right move to lead the life in normal again which was very necessary for one's life.
Keep up the creative work.

  a new philosopher is born

17 April 2008 at 22:21

i dont know, i seem to be having this crazy ideas which nobody wants to follow, though it always worked for me. the idea is ur friends are always ur friends. people who care for u, always care for u. love everybody. give unconditional love to everybody. but dont get addicted to this love. love simply for love's sake.....belive me life is beautiful. u have to bear the rain ( which itself is beautiful by the way) to see the rainbow bloom!!!

  Raoul

18 April 2008 at 13:29

I love it. Awesome

  lonelyreddevil

18 April 2008 at 17:42

the story is very good. i think we have to embed some randomness in our lives the unpredictability gives us something to tackle in life every other day...

  Comfortably Numb

19 April 2008 at 15:27

I was kindaa fitting people into it!

But for sure its more than something "fiction-al" :P

But yes life is all about moving on and yes it is!

Cheers

  Ash D

21 April 2008 at 21:46

hmm interesting story... didnt read d first part but am on my way searching for it in ur archives.. :D

  Matangi Mawley

21 April 2008 at 22:12

the plot is gr8...
:)
keep writing!

  Sulakshana

22 May 2008 at 20:40

i can say that this is a true story. but believe me one can not leave living life............. there are still ways out to handle your own life.........
we are not born to be alone.........

i can say this is my story.........

  RINZU SUSAN RAJAN

22 August 2008 at 15:14

its happening a lot in india nowdays...

he relationships breaking and life coming to a halt...