The story of Us-1

I heard the car. I got up. I went into the kitchen I got the vessels from the fridge. I put on the microwave. I put the things in to heat. I heard the key being turned in the door. I removed the food from the microwave. I got the dishes out.

He came in. He went to the bathroom. He washed up. He came into the kitchen. He sat down at the table. He picked up the plate. He served himself.

I picked up the second plate. I served myself.

We ate.

He sneezed.

I said, “Bless you!”

He said, “Thanks.”

That’s most we had spoken in days. We have been married for 2 years now. We had known each other just 1 year and dated for 6 months before we decided to tie the knot. I wish I could name a specific day or time when we had stopped talking. For all I know, it just happened.

It wasn’t always like this. And it wasn’t his fault and neither was it mine. I sometimes wish I could blame it on someone or something, but I knew it wouldn’t be true. Damn Me! Sometimes, I wish I knew why it happened. Sometimes I thought that all I could was wish. It had been days, weeks, actually months since we had a decent conversation. When we did speak, we would talk and suddenly go quiet. Till one of us would go off to sleep or rather pretend to sleep.

It wasn’t always like this. When we used to date (those were the days) we would talk really speak, talk or whatever the hell it is called. We would call and speak hours on end. Ohh, the way our parents reacted when they saw our bills. We used to be in college back then and still dependent on them to pay the bills. Then, when we graduated and got a job, we immediately decided to get married. It was the most logical thing to do. My parents liked him, his parents liked me. It was a match made in heaven.

Now, divine intervention is all that can save us, it seems. Divine intervention. It's funny because both of us are atheists in a way. That’s what brought us together. The pressures of life, work, everything seems to make us drift apart. There I found something to blame. When you are just starting your career, it is but expected this it is your priority number "one". But do people ignore other aspects in their lives? When you come home tired after a long day of work, do you just ignore the other person living under the same roof? Isn’t marriage all about companionship? About sharing and caring? Isn’t it all telling the other person the problems and difficulties? Even though you feel like the person in front may not fully comprehend. What you share is not important but the fact that you do.

Maybe he doesn’t realize how important this is to me. Maybe he hasn’t realized that this isn’t a healthy relationship. Maybe he just doesn’t care. No! That can't be true. He does care. He used to care... He couldn’t have changed so soon. Could he?

unique?

What makes you unique? Is it your talents? The things you can do? Well no. Because someone somewhere can do it better than you.

Then is it your success that gives you your unique flavour? NO. Because someone somewhere achieved something much greater at a much younger age.

Then, what is it that makes you, YOU? The special person called YOU.

It is the entire package. Your talents, your successes, your faults, your failures ...EVERYTHING.

Then why is it that we are afraid to embrace our faults? Aren't they a part of us?

I remember this one line in the movie "13 going on 30" , when the actress asks her mother , if there was anything in her life that she wishes she could undo, her mother said no. "Each mistake has made me who I'm today. If I didn't make those mistakes I wouldn't be here."

So true. Never do anything you will regret and never regret what you did.

change

Change is inevitable... That sucks..Truly does.

I hate change. I like my life to be the way it is. Any change has to announce itself days in advance so that I can mentally prepare of it. Or change has to happen slowly so that I can get used to it SLOWLY...

When change "happens" , there are these innumerable subtle changes that accompany.Things that you never thought you would miss..Things that are taken for granted. Things that seem like a distant dream NOW.

But then change is inevitable. All you can do is accept it and move on. Or crib.

Well, I choose to accept it and everything else that comes with it.

Memories

The cool weather and fond memories...This is what I encountered when I went for a walk today evening. The road I walked was a familiar one, the one I frequented once a upon a time during school. As I walked, the music blared on my Ipod and memories came flooding back.

I just kept imagining that I would see you. I would meet you as you very often would. I would see your smiling face. I still remember when I was at 6AM during the vacations keeping my resolve of everyday morning walks and the surprise on my face when I saw you. What would I give to see you , your smile, your face once again!

Your memories seemed to be the flavour of the day. I saw a bike just like yours. The same bike that you promised to take me out for a spin. You still have to keep the promise. Maybe one day you will.

Loads has changed since you left us. My dreams, my life, me. But you will always remain in my prayers. I will always think of you on your birthday (July 30th , yes I haven't forgotten). I will always think of you when I walk in our garden. I just hope that you are happy wherever you are. May your soul rest in peace, dear friend.