Your Ex is alcohol

Well yes, your ex is like alcohol and getting over them is just like getting over the addiction. 


Step 1 -DISENGAGE

Keep away from there. Avoid all forms of alcohol. Avoid places where alcohol is served or people you know will drink. 

Which in effect means, avoid all places where the person would most likely be seen. Avoid it like plague. Avoid all their calls or keep it under 2mins. It is difficult but see it like a detoxification process. You need to get rid of all signs of them..All the gifts, the smses, the photos/videos in your phone.Take off the earrings,rings, pendants. Trust me its easier that you do it now. Easier on a LOT of people.

Step 2 -MOVE

Part A

Generally , here your tolerance levels are better and you are out in the world doing the stuff that you would normally do. You still avoid places where alcohol is served but you can be ok when people talk about their drunken escapades. It is a good idea here to make new friends-ones who don't know about you , just so that you know that life moves on...

Similarly, you get along your normal routine but without the feeling of being normal. There is a perennial feeling of sadness but you don't rebuke your self for feeling happy or for smiling. You don't want to kill your friend for getting a new bf, even though you feel a twinge of jealousy/sadness , you are truly happy for your friend. Same applies with making new friends, people who know nothing of the past and hence will not ask you about it except the irritating nosy ones (but who needs them anyway ) If you haven't deleted all the msgs/videos/photos, this stage will see a lot of reading through all of them..Ogling of the pictures.. 


Part B

Finally, you can now go to parties and say no to alcohol and then later want to kick yourself. This is where you'll most likely slip up. All the hard work will go waste provided you aren't strong.

As usual, the same rule applies for the relationship bit too. You can go to the same places that you and your ex used to hang out. One thing that is effective is making new memories in the same place but with different people.



Step 3 -ENHANCE/REENGAGE

This is the stage which is last and hopefully a new beginning. You can choose to have alcohol obviously in limited doses...It will help if you have, in the 2nd stage, analysed why you drink and factors led to the over intake and hence you can be even more alert in such situations.

Applying this to relationships, this stage generally makes you more comfortable with the memories. You realise that you were a part of a couple which doesn't exist anymore. But memories are always there. You are able to talk about the relationship without any hurt or remorse.  You are now ready to move on..Explore uncharted territories (Dramatic, no??)


(My fellow Psycho students will realise that these stages are named after Posner's theory but apart from that, there isnt anything that is based on any kind of research or theory or hard and fast rule. This is me just being crazy. Nothing in life is so black and white and having such defined stages. Life and emotions are fluid. And thats the best part about it. Feel every emotion to the core as I remember some ad having the line "Dard mein bhi kuch baat hai". 

Most important thing is for you to realise what is best for you and others around you. Sing like no1 is listening (this doesn't apply to Himesh Reshammiya), Dance like no1 is watching, Love like you have never been hurt, Live like there is no tmrw bcas there might not be! )

10 comments:

  Abhinav Viswambharan

29 October 2008 at 21:10

Awesome.

That would be the word, if somebody asks me to describe this post. I am not saying just for the sake of it. I mean it.

One thing that so strikingly pleased me was your amazing outlook. The way you linked the two aspects in those 3 steps, was just too good.

Another thing that I liked was the following line that you put up - " Sing like no1 is listening (this doesn't apply to Himesh Reshammiya)".

To put it short, a nice n refreshing read.

Hopefully, I will be more regular in visiting your blog. Keep writing. :)

  AnnaChronism

30 October 2008 at 00:39

Hey lady
Just got to your blog from the orkut community so do hit me back whenever.

I am over le ex's but sadly, this "thing" tends to happen to me [or as i hope, both of us !!] when we bump into each other in the city. Its not one of those "oh damn whyd i leave him" feelings, its more of a "i wish he didnt get cuter" things :(

  AnnaChronism

30 October 2008 at 00:39

Hey lady
Just got to your blog from the orkut community so do hit me back whenever.

I am over le ex's but sadly, this "thing" tends to happen to me [or as i hope, both of us !!] when we bump into each other in the city. Its not one of those "oh damn whyd i leave him" feelings, its more of a "i wish he didnt get cuter" things :(

  ~_ Prasad _~

30 October 2008 at 01:34

LOLzz...
nicely written...
:-)

  spicymist

30 October 2008 at 21:52

i like your analogy. ant the parts in italic are so true. this des not apply to himass>>> kapaal

  Sidrah

31 October 2008 at 00:13

Simply wow!!
Loved reading it, ur writing style is great! =)

N i dun think ur being crazy, wht u ve written is way cool..
although i dun ve any ex..nor i drink =D

Cya! ^-^


http://thebunnyburrow.blogspot.com/

  Kalidas

31 October 2008 at 04:41

hmm.. good write up.. so r u a psych student? no wonder..

  stuntman mike

1 November 2008 at 19:19

i donno nothin bout relationship's and exes and all that kinda stuff ... all i kno is that i'll never ever even try to break up with alcohol ... booze is the best !! :P

  Manu Akula

2 November 2008 at 12:33

Thanks for leaving a comment.

I havent updated my blog for ages so I actually have enough amusing stuff to write about but no freaking time to put it on paper !

I hate grad school !

  Comfortably Numb

5 November 2008 at 22:49

I won't even try and say sorry :(
But who knows it might work..IM sorry :(

Ok ok quickly moving on to the post since I know that I have to read the second one before I can face you :|
Very well written as always. And true in all aspects. And part A was very very meaningful..not that the rest of the post wasn't. And Yes..How do you think like that. I agree it was lifted and copied :P from some Psychology thing but still! No wonder why I am amazed.

Great!

Cheers!!