Of little men and women.




I was having this conversation about molestation with a real close friend of mine. Now this friend of mine is in a different country (Pakistan), she belongs to a different religion and on the whole is a very different individual but what connects us is tha
t we are women. We feel the same pain as women across the world do. The fact that my education, my upbringing, my personality has nothing to do with the fact that I was molested. That person reduced me to a mere object. An object of his advances. Nothing more and nothing less. It is just a disgusting fact.

And this person could be my brother, my father, my uncle, a person I trust and care about. The fact that tomorrow I can't tell my daughter to trust her father or her brother completely. I can't tell her that her dad will always protect her and she will always be her daddy's little girl is just so disturbing.

My friend rightly asked me, "What do I tell my daughter then?” My simple answer to this is: Trust yourself. You don't like something. OBJECT. This is definitely easier said than done. And when there is so much "secrecy" involved especially with regards to such behaviors, is it a wonder that most mothers just ignore such complaints from their daughters? Or reprimand them for concocting such stuff?

Tell your daughter, your sisters that she has the right to say no. To say anything wants. To say whatever she feels. She has a right to speak. She has a right to do whatever she wants just as much you have a right to that. Tell her she is an individual. Tell her, she can protect herself. She has something that she should protect. Her soul. Her identity. She, herself is a being of equal right.

People who oppress women on the name of religion have no confidence on themselves. Deep in their hearts they know they are wrong. They know that it isn’t the way they are portraying it to be. Do they dare to say what they think about women going to pubs or wearing jeans? No. They don't have the guts (or balls) do that. Rather they say that their religion tells them to do so.

Should we really be concerned about this? This is just another instance of people suffering because "GOD" spoke to one person.

I really wonder what God would be saying right now?


Hope still exists.

Have I ever told you how much I love my brother? Except for the reasons that he is made of the same blood and flesh, he is turning out to be one hell of a man. Yes, my baby brother is now becoming a man. He is "just" 16 yrs old but I am so proud of him. It was just a small incident that triggered of my feelings in this direction. 

I was having cold coffee and my servant came in and said, "So you are having coffee too? A (my brother) just finished his." 

Me: "Yeah. He made it for me."

(Uhum... Yes. He can and I can't)

Servant: "See the love your brother has."

I just smile and go on typing on the computer.

Servant: "Wait till his wife comes. Then he will make her do all the work."

Me: “I’m sure my brother will make coffee for her just as he does for me."

And yes, I'm absolutely sure of it. 

Well, while at it, I remember when I was very down in life and I would end up crying in the night. (Frustration makes me cry) And my brother is not the hugs kinda guy, but on those days, I could feel him sleep nearer to press his back against mine. It just felt so comforting to know that he was near. 

When, there are talks about women being treated as inferior or men not respecting women, I can safely say that my brother will not be one of them. I am proud of what and who he is.

Cheers to you, bro and please keep making me proud of you.



Oh yeah, thats us when we were really little :)



XOXO!

13 comments:

  Pretty Me!!

10 February 2009 at 11:40

sigh ! Fear is the worst feeling but sadly it has become such a close ally now days !!


ps : God bless you and your brother lots of smiles :)

  ankit

10 February 2009 at 12:12

rash,

i don't think that the men, who beat or molest women (and you know that i can never be one to treat a woman inferior, as you know your brother can't), ever believe in the deepest corners of their heart that they are wrong...

don't you think that it is no mere coincidence that these political, so called religious outfits are all or atleast proclaim to be Ram devotees.. and from what i know of, Ram is the one who illusionized this idea of a marayada purshottam by asking his pregnant wife to move out, if he thought that was the right thing to do.

So, no. These guys actually think on the wrong tangent!

  Tushar Mangl

10 February 2009 at 12:36

Some times I look upon such cases with disgust, but not at the accused but his family. The environment which made him that way. Many more are to be blamed, not just one man.

A good question was raised, What will you tell your daughter,
but another was skipped,
how will you make your daughter and son, to respect the other sex.

  Akansha Agrawal

10 February 2009 at 19:08

I know none of my brothers would ever do it too... including my cousins... it does hv a lot to do with how you are brought up.. and I can safely say, we were brought up with the right outlook....

  Anurag

10 February 2009 at 19:50

It's just sad that still exists.....Hopefully ppl learn and learn fast....

  Pretty Me!!

10 February 2009 at 23:52

wanted to share this with you :

http://www.orkut.co.in/Main#CommMsgs.aspx?cmm=1538&tid=5233164822747614518&kw=my+uncle+loved+me

  cutestangel

11 February 2009 at 02:05

I think its very important for a mother to teach her child that they can have confidence to share a secret with aparent and that they will not be told off for sharing it.If a child is taught that he/she can ask for help and they wont be judged is important.

As for your brother he sounds really sweet.

  Indian Home Maker

11 February 2009 at 13:38

Yes it is extremely important for a girl to be able to OBJECT if she is uncomfortable. Even little girls.

And they should never be blamed for this.

And Rashi you are so fortunate to have such a loving brother :)
I think we can all learn from your example, in how you told your servant that you were sure your brother will make coffee for his wife also.
Loved this post!

  Navchawla

11 February 2009 at 21:42

I hv never made a coffee for my sisters :(
I love them a lot...thnx for reminding..as soon as I go back I wud do something for both of them :)

  illusiOn

13 February 2009 at 17:40

wow my my wat a love may God keep this love b/w you both!

  Comfortably Numb

16 February 2009 at 00:41

Awwww man. iLubh my brother too. Oh so cute.
And as far as the molestation issue is concerned. We all owe it to our conservative society. Women raise a voice and they are gifted with filthy names. Sadness.

Cheers!!

PS: Apologies for reading this so late

  .a.

3 March 2009 at 21:15

yes, My apologies for reading it late too.

Tshar has raised my opinion, we should teach out daughters as well as sons, it matters a lot, the brought up :)

factors may include Ignorance - men to ethics and women to their rights.

But sad factor such things exist!
May such men burn in hell.

  mysterious gal

20 May 2009 at 16:54

i missed it so sorry :(
and i agree to what others say the upbringings matter a lot and thats what makes them respect woman ....and once thats inculcated such incidents will surely be less

sadly molestation and harassment exists at the zenith in delhi...howsover i hate it...i cd do little :(

and i m so proud u have such a brother...that made me remember my bro too .....i rem once when he was in india ....and i so hated the dinner cooked....he got up and made scrambled eggs just for me....and that was the best scrambled eggs i have ever had....so such brothers do exist :)