Smoke















Arises slowly from the ashes,
The smoke from the coal
The orange, red flashes,
Arises slowly from the ashes,
Of the fire and smoke clashes
Giving my soul some console,
Arises slowly from the ashes,
The smoke from the coal.


Everything charred by the smoke,
All around covered with soot.
Beyond recognition, like in a cloak
Everything charred by the smoke,
Things stir, I choke
Everywhere,I look or my step I put
Everything charred by the smoke,
All around covered with soot.


Attempted at OSI

This form of poem is called a Triolet. Learnt it here

Also submitted to Monday Poetry Train.

Thanks Prats, for always exposing me to new forms :)

16 comments:

  Leo

30 March 2009 at 23:59

i loved it raash! :D

as the mask would say... "smokin!" :)

i loved it evn b4 i read it here. thanks for showin me earlier! :)

  SandyCarlson

31 March 2009 at 02:09

A very different kind of baptism!

  Amias

31 March 2009 at 03:03

I have read this style before and did not find it to my liking, but I like the baptism aspects of your poem by fire.

  SweetTalkingGuy..

31 March 2009 at 04:23

It's difficult to judge with only a couple of stanza's, there's a lot of repetition in this form and you have to choose your words carefully. That said, I think you managed to cover a lot of ground in a confined space and some good rhymes in there too.

Well done!

  Tumblewords:

31 March 2009 at 06:14

I've found this form very difficult to write - your words are well done and the style fits! Nice work.

  Fledgling Poet

31 March 2009 at 06:20

This was well done...the style in which it was written made the smoke feel as if it were surrounding me closer and closer.

  Akansha Agrawal

31 March 2009 at 09:23

I have to check out this style on WL... and I agree with Fledgling Poet.... it makes you feel as if the smoke is binding you step by step...

  Indian Home Maker

31 March 2009 at 13:08

This is new to me, will check out Triolet from your link.
But irrespective of what form it is, I like it!

  Arv

31 March 2009 at 13:31

Hmmm... Interesting lines... I can relate to this somehow... kinda odd feeling...

I must try this poetry form sometime too... will do...

take care and have a nice day... Cheers :)

  Maverick

31 March 2009 at 13:41

Very deep and impressive! Luvd it! :)

  Pretty Me!!

31 March 2009 at 14:17

cool !! lovely ideas and imagery for the prompt !! loved the double triolet !! u tempt me to write a triolet again .. ;) lets see if i get a muse !!

  Tan

31 March 2009 at 21:54

Thanks to you for teaching me this...

  the pink orchid

31 March 2009 at 22:05

i think i read it earlier too...

you have poetry flowing in your nerves girl!!

  gautami tripathy

31 March 2009 at 22:13

Triolets work better alone. You can work around it.

mainline to the heart

  Deborah Godin

1 April 2009 at 01:06

I didn't know about this kind of poetry, glad to make it's acquaintance! I'm always interested in different forms and ways of rhyming.

  Raven

2 April 2009 at 09:04

Challenging form. Not sure I'd have the courage to try it. Well done.