Fatal Attraction


I was cribbing about being unable to write and my dear dear friend Leo gave me a pic to inspire and I wrote a small little fiction 55 on it. Lo and behold, I was kinda able to write after that I completed the prompt on Acrostic Only. 





I took his small feet in my hands and wondered if he’ll remember me when I’m gone. I didn’t have much time to spend with him. I would miss him grow, maybe even miss his first words, first steps. Would he miss me? Suddenly, he opened his eyes and I realized let’s make memories now.


Fatal Attraction- The Acrostic

Fragile, you seemed
Alabaster-toned your skin
Tenacious, your mind.
Alluring are your eyes, me to
Lands unknown.

As I sit across the 
Table, I look at you moving,
Talking, lips moving in perfect symphony.
Radiantly beaming.
A sigh escapes my lips.
Can't we be together?, I wonder
The pain of separation
Is more than I can take.
One more breath without you is my
Nemesis. My end. My quietus.

I know it lacks flow. But I tried to imply the confusion that he feels on seeing the girl that he loves but can't have.  

17 comments:

  mysterious gal

12 April 2009 at 16:31

wow rashi u truly write magic
fiction 55 was just so divine
and the poem....no better way to explain the fatal attraction

A sigh escapes my lips.
Can't we together, I wonder
The pain of separation
Is more than I can take.
One more breath without you is my
Nemesis. My end. My quietus.

these lines just explained it all
Love the way u write....amazing :D
keep writing
Love ya gal

  Leo

12 April 2009 at 16:33

i hate my comp, it rebooted when i was gonna comment first! :(

i loved giving u the inspiration and u did it justice! :)

the words were somewhat how i felt one day... it is well written! bravo! :)

  Kartz

12 April 2009 at 16:45

Take a bow. That was just too good... Period.

Easter greetings.

Peace. Have a nice day.

  Arv

12 April 2009 at 18:13

Aint nothing bigger than living for now :)

kewl one da... :)

cheers...

  americanising desi

12 April 2009 at 21:08

indeed a very different attempt!

  !nversed Poignancy!

12 April 2009 at 21:26

Loved this to the core!
Fantabulous is the one word that I can get at this point.:)

  Lancelot

13 April 2009 at 07:31

touching touching - its true its really painful to know that the girl u sit and chat with can never be yours when your heart badly wants her .... boooooooooooooooooohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

  Winnie the poohi

14 April 2009 at 01:05

This is an amazing write!! Only...

Alluring are your eyes, me to
Lands unknown.

These lines.. for me seemed wrong.. what if you modify it to..

And your eyes, allured, beckoned me to
Lands unknown..

Just a suggestion.. hope you wont mind :)

  R.V

14 April 2009 at 01:13

Winnie,

I didnt mind it at all... Doesnt allure mean to tempt? So she is alluring him to lands unknown?

I don't know.. I will think after exams...

I like people correcting me.. Makes me feel they atleast read properly :P

  SweetTalkingGuy..

14 April 2009 at 06:41

Phew, love that word quietus!

  anthonynorth

14 April 2009 at 14:05

This flowed okay by me. Nicely done.

  Nave

15 April 2009 at 00:06

Nice poem.. Beautiful capture :)

  Pretty Me!!

15 April 2009 at 16:36

A sigh escapes my lips.
Can't we together, I wonder


Ah!!! some feelings they arouse !!


I loved the 55 fiction :)

  Kartz

15 April 2009 at 20:15

Hmmm... Just a tweak, if u'd ask me (looking at what Winnie suggested)

*Alluring, are your eyes, me to ... ... ...*

I didn't notice that u had omitted a comma after *Alluring*. Yeah, a hyphen would solve the purpose too.

Peace. Have a nice day.

  Amias

16 April 2009 at 18:00

I think it flowed OK ... there are all types of fatal attractions. As much as I enjoyed the poem, I loved the dialogue and the little feet ... "let's make a memory now" ... this made my day!

  Tan

17 April 2009 at 00:33

Having read this, I need to write my acrostic for this week... will keep your poem in mind while writing...

I'm still enjoying my vacation. Spent sometime in writing this story. want you to read it and tell me how it is. Hope you like it.

Mistake: A Scary reason @ Thus Wrote Tan!

  Maggie

18 April 2009 at 22:10

This is a wonderful acrostic...very enjoyable read.