I lay on my bed. Frustrated and flustered. Happiness had left me. All it left was void. An empty place. I tried to fill it with numerous things but all was momentary. I tossed

Immediately, my thoughts turned to him. Him that I had let go. I heard news of him doing well. Getting a lot of praise. Everyone saying he was perfect. Suddenly, I remember what it felt to have him touch me. Just holding hands felt wrong. Eerie. Like it didnt belong. No, I dont regret it. I turn.

My thoughts fly to him. Him that I wish could let go. My stomach churns at the very thought of not loving him anymore. It seems like I have done so forever. My head wheels as I contrast the feelings I have for both. Couldn't be more different. I smile sinisterly. I feel cheap. Like a broken rag doll. 

Acute stress, the doctor tells me. I need to relax. The aches and pains are result of my brain. It is all in mind. My mind which isnt mine anymore. Thoughts go on in random fashion. Like a presentation gone haywire. One slide after another with no proper sequence. Memories, dreams, reality, fears all flash one after the other. 

Somehow, of all that has eluded me. Pain never has. 

Ps: It is fiction. A few posts inspired this :)



2 May 2009 at 23:40


I bow to you! :) It was that good! soo nice thought train...




2 May 2009 at 23:41

*sigh* i wonder if it is fiction.

as if with the potency of sheer desire, it is possible to *not think*, to not dream, to not feel the pain. as if ..

*sigh* it was beautiful to say the least.

  mysterious gal

2 May 2009 at 23:46

It was just too beautiful ....and it did made me sigh....and no words to was just that doubt i tell u ...u often write, speak and think similar to me :)
Love ya Rash :)


3 May 2009 at 09:29

it was beautiful... why does pain always cling to our skin and refuse to leave.. ?!!


3 May 2009 at 10:05

this is my first visit to this blog!
I liked it a lot!
so following this one from now on!
cheers and god bless!



3 May 2009 at 10:05

I just noticed that I am the 50th follower too :)
happy half century then!

  Pavitra ....

3 May 2009 at 11:19

keep penning.... :)


3 May 2009 at 11:31

glad its jus a well written fiction..

take care... cheers...


4 May 2009 at 10:35

nice random thoughts flowing in your mind raash! sure it is just fiction?