This post is courtesy MistiZaa

Life 10 Years ago..

That's a really long time ago.But anyway I was 9 and the only incident that really sticks out is losing my Mom.It was one of the most difficult things that I have been through.That day is etched in my memory forever.I was supposed to be leaving for my first ever trip away from home.Mom had been living away from home with my uncle and aunt because the hospital was closer (for chemotherapy) and by the time the treatment would get over she would be so tired that she wouldn't be able to travel..SO now I know...It was my cousins birthday.SO I spoke to him and mom in the morning about what was cooked and everything.She asked me what the preparations for the trip were left and I said just labelling some stuff so that they don't get lost...
At night around 7...A call....Grandma picks us then comes to me and says You can go to the trip...I knew immediately that something was wrong.But WHAT?
At 8.10..Another call..I was trying to sleep ...And my Aunt picks us and then rushes to the hall and then I hear my Grandma screaming and crying....
Yeah That conversation in the morning was the last I ever had with her physical being...And that's that....

Life 5 years ago..
This is the more interesting part of my life...Had great fun in school.Was the pet of most teachers and loved by the rest...I think most students also liked me...I had great friends who I still bank upon..Crushes and major crushes...Board exams...Running for college admissions....Going to one of the "coolest" colleges in town..Wondering if I would fit in..I soon realised no one really cares..One thing that both my school and college have taught me is BE YOURSELF..You can be
just a mediocre someone but the best you.

Life tomorrow
STUDY STUDY and STUDY...Exams on Monday... :( People pray for me..

5 Places I would love to run away to

  1. London (to be with Ne)
  2. The beach
  3. Shimla (when its raining )
  4. Sydney (to kick Able's butt.....No news...)
  5. Anywhere ...Just get me away from these exams :(

5 bad habits I have.

  1. Mood swings..Terrible
  2. Never giving people a second chance.If I like you...I like you.If I don't...I DON'T PERIOD
  3. Perfectionism..cant stand anything below the best
  4. Taking people for granted
  5. Letting people take me for granted. :)

5 thing I will never wear

I never say NEVER :) I believe in experimentation and trying everything at least once..

5 biggest joys at the moment

People coming (back) to Mumbai..Some tomorrow(YIPEEE), Some soon (MR Hypocrite???), Some in July (Ne)
A LONG holiday coming up soooon...
Lunch smells really nice today :)
I'm blogging without my bro reading over my shoulder.
Started working on a series of short stories which was long overdue..

Something to be achieved by next year.
BE sure of what I want ..Educational or Clinical psychology...Solve confusion in one other sphere

Something that impacted me last year
Losing a very good friend...

What will I miss about 2007?
Security and surety i had about certain things in certain aspects of my life...

5 things I want to do before I die

  1. Not think so much
  2. Be myself and love me to the fullest
  3. Have a kid and adopt one.
  4. Have my own island :) [doesn't cost to dream , does it??]
  5. Live in a house on the beach and not in Mumbai

Right now I'm not tagging any1...If you are really bored please tag yourself.... :D

I trust you

I believe I love you has lost its meaning..Especially in college.People find it very difficult to say sorry rather they say "But I love you naa..." .I confess I do it too.Its like saying " well since i love you..You have to forgive everything I say and do." Saying sorry its letting the other person have power over you.After he can choose not to forgive you.I have decided Im going to stop saying that.I love you is meant for special times when I truly mean it.Like when my grandma makes me soup every night, the trouble she goes through to make me curds..[Its tough]..Like when Hugo without asking just made a copy of all the notes she had bcas she knew I would need it...Like when some people realise Im down just by hearing me say Hello...These are special people and truly deserve a 'I LOVE YOU'

But frankly speaking...When it comes to friendship or even that matter romantic relationships,its not always the 'love yous' that matter..Its the other small things like 'I trust you' ; 'I believe you' ; 'I'll be there for you'.Trust , belief , standing up for another are some of the best compliments you can give someone else.I dont know if people realise this.People have grown so accustomed to being cheated and hurt, that they have forgotten to be vulnerable.

One of friends keeps asking me..How can you trust me? I do just because I do.I have offered to you my friendship, my trust ...You can do whatever you want with it.Break it and throw it away -It will hurt but your choice.Or take it and appreciate it or take it and return your friendship and trust..

Dont expect people to reciprocate your own feelings...They have their own emotions, beliefs etc.But dont judge the worth of you or what you are offering on the basis who didnt accept it.One of the analogies that my teacher used to give (and still gives) is that of a chocolate cake.You go give a person a chocolate cake and he refuses..Did the cake change? Did it become bad? Will no1 ever like chocolate cake again? NO.That one person at that particular time didnt WANT chocolate cake.Thats all there is to it.


I have been trying to write something for sooo long..But just cant find the right words.The thing is that every time an important exam is near (like now..A month to go) I become an emotional Yo-yo.I get angry at the slightest provocation and sad or rather extremely sad when someone says the slightest thing...Its worse than PMS..(wonder what I'll be then)
I hate showing my true emotions.There are very few people who can claim to know me the best..And now the list has just grown shorter..I dont like feeling vulnerable.I hate feeling dependent..And yet right now..I do feel that for this one person...I dont know whether I'm getting dependent or not..But i "crave" for attention from that person..Maybe its a crush..Call by whatever name you want to, but i don't like feeling needy and clingy..I just cant explain that feeling..Its just tooooo complicated...Its like there is this wall around me , it always has been.I lowered it down for one person..Just one person and that person just walked out...I dont know why or what..He just did.So now the walls are up higher but are weak they have been broken down once before...This new person is somehow making a way through..I dont know whether the new person knows that they are doing this...but it is happening..Its scaring me..I know what i would have said to a friend in this situation , " Be a little vulnerable." Vulnerable to be hurt again? Vulnerable to be in that situation where I want to be alone..?? I cant believe I did this but once I actually avoided my friends MY FRIENDS..who have stood by me always.And for a person who didnt care.I dont want that to be repeated.I dont want my heart to be broken but yet I want that person to feel the way I do..

A few of my favourite things

"Raindrops on roses and whiskers on kittens
Bright copper kettles and warm woolen mittens

Brown paper packages tied up with strings
These are a few of my favorite things

When the dog bites

When the bee stings

When I'm feeling sad

I simply remember my favorite things

And then I don't feel so bad."

Does anyone remember this song?Sound of Music and Maria....Oh I love the songs of this movie.Each of them can bring out a different emotion and most songs evoke various emotions...Well this one and "So long...Farewell" are my favourites...

I was talking to a really old friend of mine after ages and we chatted about how cold it is and how amazing it would be to be under a blanket for the whole day (wishes ...mmmmmm)..SO I decided to make a list (Remember :I love lists) things I love/like..So here goes:

  1. Cold winter morning or wake up while its raining.Warm blanket.Hot coffee and a sweet conversation with a nice friend.Or Sweet music in the background and a good book to read.
  2. Getting wet in the rain
  3. Eating ice cream while getting wet in the rain
  4. Getting wet in the rain with a friend and laughing at others sharing umbrellas [Remember Kittu]
  5. A small kid in my arms and then he/she smiles :D
  6. Hatching evil plans in sociology lectures with Hugo.
  7. Talking and meeting up my school friends (Rene, Dharo, Geetu ....Guys I love you )
  8. Having a really good night's sleep.
  9. Waking up in the morning to find a message or a missed call on my phone..Or waking up because someone is calling me. :) [Yeah Mr Hypocrite You made my day today :)]
  10. Getting a message everyday night from a friend(My sweet VandroBhaiya) just to say good night.
  11. Reading someone's blog and realising that they have made a mention of you (hopefully in a good way)
  12. Getting praise/flattery....who doesnt like that?
  13. Talking my heart out a friend in the train
  14. Hugging someone...or better someone hugging me..!! Especially when Im sad..I believe that the solution of every problem can begin and end with a HUG
  15. Getting gifts/flowers..I dont care if its virtual or real.Paid or free...I just love that you thought of me.
  16. Feeling cold hands on my neck *wink wink* ;)
  17. The radio starts playing your favourite song ..Better if its actually dedicated to you ;)
  18. Taking an actual good picture
  19. Someone taking a really good picture of you...Rarely happens with me :(

Im sorry I tried to make it only 10 things I love..But i guess it extended a bit :) I hope I can read your lists too.It really helps put things in perspective and then also lets people know what you like so they know what to do to "butter you up" ;)