Long Distance?

Does a long distance relationship (LD) work? Don't care to ask me how this thought struck me, but it did on a lazy Tuesday afternoon..


I, for one, believe that every relationship and I truly mean every relationship has a chance , provided the 2 people in it are committed to make it work irrespective of any differences. I have seen the most unlikely couple sticking it out for decades and also the meant to be high school sweethearts who went ahead fixed a wedding date after dating for 7 years and visiting a premarital counselor i.e doing "everything" right calling off their wedding 2 months prior to the D-day.

And coming back to the topic and stopping all the silly rambling..Yes, I do believe that a LD can work. It had additional problems that a couple has to overcome. Not being to meet for long amounts of time, not being able to hug when you need it the most would seriously complicate matters..But there is one thing that conquers it all- Trust.

Trust that the person in front loves you. Trust that your SO (significant other) wants to be with you just as much. Trust that even though he is with his friends enjoying on a Saturday evening and you are stuck studying at home, he would give anything to be with you at that instant. :) [Wow,
Im a romantic] Oh yeah, Trust that he isnt taking his friend seriously when she says, " Its not going to work between you two." :x  (Inside joke, Sorry)

I think the main problem with a LD is that it cant be casual enough or serious enough. Well how can it be casual if you can't have dates etc etc. You need a level of commitment to be able to pull that off.  It can't be serious enough simply because when you don't have an idea how the person in real time. What if they wear purple pants and green shirts (Ok..I know its superficial but still...), maybe they have 17 piercings on their face(Yes, I have seen such people) And if you have met them online, there is an added risk that they arent what they say (58 year old grandfather of 4, perhaps??

But I think LDs are great when there is a level of commitment already in the relationship, when the 2 people in question have already been together for some time, they know each other, then there is no reason to call it off just because one of the two are moving away.

So, what are your thoughts on LDs? Have you been in one? Would you been in one? 

*Uff..Long post, I'm tired :P



7 comments:

  Tshhar Mangal

30 September 2008 at 23:25

Long distance relationships are very difficult to pull off and maintain.
It needs very high level of commitment

  vanilla sky

1 October 2008 at 15:13

i totally agree to the last paragraph where you mention that a certain level of commitment needs to be there for the r'ship to be carried forward.

  spicymist

1 October 2008 at 18:54

yeah i was going around with this guy and then he decided to move away to uk. we were all " ohh, this doesnt change much, we'll talk on the phone n then theres the net" blah blah. it was okay for 2-3 months, but then time time difference butted in. perhaps there was lack of total commitment, but he didnt know when he was coming back or even IF he was ever coming back... trust i had, but i got tired of waiting in front of the pc waiting for him to sign in. waiting for him to call back when he cudt pick up the calls when i called. shit happens, people change, not always for the better

  Khalil and Diday

3 October 2008 at 12:48

Everyone who posted nailed the problems with LDR. We are in a long distance relationship as well. It's been over a year now since we met online. Time difference, waiting in front of the pc and not to forget our cultural differences are just some of the factors affecting our relationship. So, we decided to have a blog together. Something that we can work on while killing time before we can be able to get together. He Said She Said is a Love And Relationship Blog other wise known "our baby" shows not only the challenges that surrounds our relationship but also helpful tips and musings of couples in love. Thank you for writing about LDRs. It is appreciated. Keep it up!

  **ThE SiLeNt SouL**

1 November 2008 at 11:22

Oye rashi...:P..sry 2 address u wid dis.. but i guess i rote ds cz it seems i knw u fr DECADES man! This post of yours....LD..Yea iv bn into one. 2yrs. Dunno, but i really thot they can pull off easily. But whateva happened in d past 2months and 1day wid me..this point of view changed..Newaz, nice post..Reflects ME!..And ya, ur latest one(your ex..)-U knw what, I m in d same phase of following dose steps. Wanna thank you fr rytng it up in a post, cuz it helped me to consolidate them in my mind...so main unko guide book ki tarah use kar sakta hun ab..!:D..tc girl. and response s expected...:P.

  D.M.

21 December 2008 at 00:20

i am in one :) been 4 years and it's been great! VERY PAINFUL at times, of course.. but yes you are right, it's all about the level of commitment, trust, faith, being CRAZY POSITIVE.. and it is important that both the people in the LDR express their love to each other often.. re-assurances are very important.. you want to hear "i love you" "i miss you" more than what you need in a regular relationship.. when you can meet your love almost daily

LDR teaches a lot. i have learnt to be so patient .. of all the things. Very trusting and positive. Strong, of course! it teaches love actually. it teaches you to be strong for each other, to be the rock for your love when he's feeling low being away...

i would never regret being in a long distance relationship, actually its the best thing that happened to me. we are most probably getting married next year

  moon's muse

16 January 2009 at 20:38

See,I promised.I love your blog and it's there in my reader.So,expect comments.Somehow reading your posts made me feel like my own nature reflected through some body else's pen..umm..ok..keys.

I am(?) in a LD too after being together for five years and living in the same college campus.The horrid part is he chose to live away as against to being forced. That hurts.

May be people pull it off well,but I have been very bad with this LD thing.Initially there were promises of making calls and net like somebody said but it waned.